Goodness me, Selfishness and other mean things!

I came around something Nietzsche said and I got reminded of something similar I thought when I observed this relative feeling like a saint-like person and boasting. What did this relative do? She gave the leftover food to a homeless person she would see by the trash every other day. She felt so good doing that. “I am such a good person, OMG”. It is a selfish thing in my opinion. This is why I somehow superficially agreed with Nietzsche’s saying.

“The weak and ill–constituted shall perish: first principle of our philanthropy. And one shall help them to do so. What is more harmful than any vice? — Active sympathy for the ill–constituted and weak — Christianity … .”

The Anti-Christ, Friedrich Nietzsche

Feeling pity for the weak is actually a vice which in turn defines what Christianity is all about. I am paraphrasing here for I mean no harm towards any religion. Now, the fact I agreed with Nietzsche is part of the Confirmation Error, since I tend to go towards cynicism (I hate the word though) and I still have some leftover parts from my atheist angsty teenage past and I apologize for that *bows*. Anyway, just reading the quote written there, so blatantly, makes Nietzsche seem rude or too evil or maybe too scientific in terms of evolution, the fittest and blah blah. I guess that is how others would also feel reading something like that written without many layers of protection from immediate criticism and thus making one feel attacked. Pity makes us feel good, and we want that feeling. This is indeed true though, isn’t it?

In the first episode of the House of Cards, the guy sees the injured dog and he kills it. I think I agree with that act (though I could never do that. Hope dies last so take that dog to the vet and adopt it if it survives! I love dogs and cats *heart eyes*). Because if anything, try to avoid suffering. Suffering is not gracious. Why the heavens do Christians love the idea of it? Because sure as hell they do not really enjoy it, you know. You see, feeling bad emotions is a normal part of life and if anything we should learn to accept it and in a way enjoy it. What I mean by enjoy is to simply be like “Ok, I am sad right now. Things are not going like I want them to. But whatever, I will be sad today and tomorrow is another day.” Somehow like Scarlet O’Hara (I like her. Very much.)

After all, tomorrow is another day!

(Scarlet O’Hara) Gone with the Wind – Margaret Mitchell

 Now, I am not talking of avoiding things. I am actually talking of embracing things. You feel sad, sure, ok, just delve in your sadness, sleep, do not do anything, don’t feel guilty for not doing anything (or feel guilty, whatever) and let the day roll. Suffering meanwhile is a sort of worship for a continual sadness. It is in a way, worshipping torture. And if you are telling the person, come on, blah blah the light of the heaven, it will pass blah blah, then you are just being very selfish. Because, maybe you do not want to deal with reality. You do not want to see people give up because they are suffering. Because maybe that would lose your only hope that keeps you going as well. But man, I do not want to suffer. I can accept sad days. But never suffering.

That is why, in a way, I do agree with the idea of assisted suicide. That is the best thing you can do. If the person is in a continual state of sadness, then you are being selfish if you ask them to be there for you, so you can see them and do nothing just provide them with a tiny bit of pointless support. You should let them go. (Something I cannot do! *hypocrite face*) The person himself knows best. So, those people who are too old, who have a disease, being that physical or mental, who are only suffering and decide to break the cycle, should be allowed to do so. It is a humane act. Every person is going to die (I am immortal though :3 and hopefully anyone I love :3), so why prolong suffering? But I guess, not everybody who is suffering wants to die. Guess life is too sweet even if you are suffering. Because nothing is of a dualistic nature. Nothing is “I am suffering therefore death is the solution”. Everybody has their own thoughts, but I only meant that for those people who want it. As for poor people, I simply do not want people to feel good when they give them a penny to keep their breath alive. I do not want that. It annoys me. Their inner smile and how they feel so angelic for a few minutes makes me so angry. Bah!

Look now, there are two types of selfishness. The first one, is the scene I mentioned above. The person who is being good and offering a penny to that poor person who is begging for food is actually just delaying their death by one day. The poor can eat a piece of bread with that penny, but what about tomorrow? Another good person may delay their hungriness another day. But what of the poor person? What is he actually doing beside suffering and surviving? He cannot enjoy life. (Hitler killed people who were handicaps or homeless uh? Oh jeez. I am doomed. Do not kill me with judgement por favor. I would never do that. I am just discussing and I do not even live by what I say. Discussing is free of horror and evilness.) I guess he may pet a dog and feel happy for a bit, but still, he cannot enjoy life for real (What is enjoying life for real anyway?). He is too hungry and cold to enjoy the nature or the sunsets or I do not know what. So, you are not offering him much beside just prolonging the days of his suffering so he can be filled with the light of God when he goes to heaven. (Does he even believe in heaven when he is hungry?) So, you, as a person owning some money, felt good for a moment. That is the reason you gave the money to that person. You felt good and you are selfish because you felt good at doing nothing besides lying yourself of how good of a person you are. I feel like trash when I give money to poor people. Because I cannot get them out of their suffering. I cannot give them a house and food every single day. I cannot bring them to the cinema or the game center. I feel so selfish when I do that and I cannot allow myself to feel good because I am a hypocrite then. Nevertheless, I still feel like a hypocrite because despite knowing that I am doing nothing and that I am not any bit gooder because of that penny I gave, I still do it. I cannot give pennies to all the poor people lying on the side of the street, so I pick the first one or the oldest one with the nicest looking face. The poorest looking face. Damn me! Do I feel like a God when I do that? Picking the ones who will receive my benevolence? Oh damn me for real. I am so selfish. That is how you are too, but we cannot stop no? We will still give pennies, randomly, a day not, a day yes. How selfish! So this is the first type of selfishness.

But there is also the other. The normal one. I am selfish in both cases. The lowest of the low omg. So, I am selfish because I have this thought. I am selfish because I want to live for myself and ignore the suffering of the others because they ruin my colorful scenery. I am selfish because I do not want to feel selfish at prolonging somebody’s life by a day if I cannot actually get them away from their slum.

When I write about such things I may seem cynical. I am not saying let the world suffer. Please do give as many pennies as you can and help and do whatever we call good. But I simply want people to acknowledge that they are being a fraud to themselves and that they are not being knights in the shining armor for giving some money to a poor person or for pretending to be the friend of someone out of pity.

Now here there is a kitten!

And a song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gPQenyj1nI

The pictures below are from the clip of the song. I listened to it after writing this and it makes me feel carefree and cool and everything xD

Maybe you prefer something cuter? Here comes the sun doo doo doo! Or something truly good xD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79DijItQXMM So, what can I say except you are welcome!

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